January 2012
58 posts
“It’s sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you’re sleeping...”
– Breathless (1960)
i don't want to eat anymore
There’s a feeling of comfort that I have grown into. Buried in this obscure, darkened mind. I feel home here. I feel like it’s time to dissect.
That morning was blurry and I don’t remember a lot. All that was clear to me was the decision I was about to make. I had been keeping the medicine in my vanity, reminding me every morning: “Shannon, you’re a depressed,...
January 11
I wish that I had a time machine because I would change so many things.
I wish that I had eaten less in the past couple of weeks because then, I wouldn’t be so disgusted with myself now.
I wish that I had a better relationship with my dad because he and I are alike.
I wish that art wasn’t graded at school because I want to feel more inclined to please myself rather than please a...
January 3
I love her so much. I love seeing her. I love her voice. I love her hair. I love the way she makes fun of me. I felt wonderful today for the first time in a while. I felt alive, and I haven’t felt that way in a really long time. It’s weird how just a visit from someone you love breathes air back into you and you feel okay again.
January 2
I dyed my hair today because I’ve been craving some dramatic change in my life. Of course, it doesn’t look much different than it did a couple hours ago. But I like the idea of easily changing something. All I had to do was put dye in my hair and then rinse it out. That’s easy change. But what about the change that’s a little harder? Like changing my personality or changing...
January 1
I’ve always wanted a new start. Since I could recognize my mistakes, I’ve wanted to just start over. I’m driving my head into a wall trying to think of “resolutions” for this new year. “Love yourself”. Impossible. With so many imperfections? I’ll love myself when I find a new start. I’ll love myself when I’m not the monster. How badly I...
